I read something this morning that really stimulated my thinking about prayer. Sir Roger Scruton’s excellent book “Beauty: A Very Short Introduction” notes a distinction in the philosophy of aesthetics between various kinds of pleasure. He labels these “pleasure from,” “pleasure that,” and “pleasure in.” “Pleasure from” he defines as the pleasing sensation one derives from an interaction with someone, or from the consumption of something. He uses the example of snorting cocaine. One’s pleasure of cocaine is pleasure from the high that the drug induces and not pleasure in the cocaine itself. Similarly, “pleasure that” is the sense of accomplishment one derives from the completion of a duty, especially, though not necessarily, an unpleasant duty. For example, I am paying my tax bill today, and while I do not enjoy paying taxes per se, I do derive a pleasing kind of relief from paying it and being out from under this obligation to my government. “Pleasure in,” however, is quite distinct from the previous two in that its focus is purely the beauty and enjoyment of the person or object itself, for his/her/its own sake, apart from any benefit or utility the person or object may have.

For some reason, I immediately began thinking of my prayer life and of various obstacles to my prayer life with which I have struggled. Suddenly, I experienced great clarity regarding what I think may be the underlying problem with my prayers. Too often, the pleasure I have sought in prayer is “pleasure that.” I am simply pleased with myself that I thought to pray, that I fulfilled this religious obligation and may now check it off of my “to do” list. When I pray this way, it is no wonder that I receive very limited benefit from it, some benefit to be sure, but a far cry from what is possible, and an even further cry from what my heart longs for. At other times, I have derived pleasure from prayer in the sense that I received the answer that I wanted or derived some kind of fleeting, warm, fuzzy spiritual experience from it. This may be a step above “pleasure that” but it still leaves my deepest longing unsatisfied. My goal ought to be “pleasure in” prayer. Because prayer is intimate communion with God, it is its own reward. Simply being in God’s presence is more pleasure than my heart can hold. Rarely have I had the experience of pleasure in prayer when I am acutely aware that I am in God’s presence and time stands still. I am in fact completely unaware of the passing of time. I am simply transfixed by the beauty and glory of God. I bask in God’s love for me and I reciprocate with my adoration of God. I wonder if what happens in such rare moments of prayer is that I begin to approximate what the Father, Son, and Spirit experience in each other – pure delight, “pleasure in” each  other’s company and communion. Wow! What an awesome gift prayer is! Oh to take pleasure in it more often.